Sunday, November 20, 2005

You should try their fingertraps, Mr. President

From the BBC: "Door thwarts quick exit for Bush" (AP photo, via BBC):
President George W Bush tried to make a quick exit from a news conference in Beijing on Sunday - only to find himself thwarted by locked doors. The president strode away from reporters looking annoyed after one said he appeared "off his game". President Bush tugged at both handles on the double doors before admitting: "I was trying to escape. Obviously, it didn't work." [...] Mr Bush answered a range of questions before one reporter said: "Respectfully, sir - you know we're always respectful - in your statement this morning with President Hu, you seemed a little off your game, you seemed to hurry through your statement. There was a lack of enthusiasm. Was something bothering you?"
The president answered: "Have you ever heard of jet lag? Well, good. That answers your question." The reporter asked for a follow-up question but the president then thanked the attending journalists and said: "No you may not."
But hold-up a second: perhaps I'm misunderestimating him again. Maybe this was Bush's oblique way of answering requests for an exit strategy. After all, he keeps hammerin' away at the 'it's not an exit strategy; it's a success strategy'. If so, it works about as well as Kramer's mail-man dummy with the bucket on his head:
Kramer, handing out anti-mail pamphlets: "Here you go. Mail is evil. Pass it on. Hey, mail blows. Fax it to a friend."
Woman: "Why does this dummy have a bucket on its head?"
Kramer: "Because we're blind to their tyranny."
Woman: "Then shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?"
Kramer: "Yeah. Move along, Betty."
Naaah...that would be too shrewd. This is more like it:
Elaine: Perhaps there's more to [Newman] than meets the eye.
Jerry: No, there's less.
Elaine: It's possible.
Jerry: No it isn't. I've looked into his eyes. He's pure evil.

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