Saturday, December 27, 2008

Oh! The places you'll go! ...or not. Whatever.

Hey there, everyone! Long time no-see, eh? Yeah...about that...*shuffles feet*

I've spent the last nine months working myself stupid. I will spare you the details, but let's just say that the new job has nearly been the death of this here kitteh. But you remember: p/t blogger, f/t DRAAAAAMA queen ;)

So...tonight I return from Xmas part III (the Don Mills edition), only to find I've been tagged by skdadl. Tagged, I tellsya! Of all the cheek! And to make matters worse, here I am on my first Xmas-free night of holidayz and I've been asked to recount the whole of my working existence. Srsly! If ever there was a night to forget about work.

But. On the bright side, this meme thing does give me the sharp elbow to the ribs I need to load up the ol' blog again. And what a mess she is! Jesus phuque is this place a sty! Broken links, mangled Site Meter, and Gord knows what else is hiding under the side-bar. I'm afraid to look! So...while I get on hands and knees and give this place a what-for, you gang can learn a bit about the non-stop thrillride that is my life (*snort*). And if you do fall asleep, try not to drool all over the footer--I'm trying to keep the Board of Health from closing this place down!

OK...where to begin?
  1. babysitter, Mississauga, aka "Land of Factory Carpet Outlet" (sure, you can entrust the most precious things in your life to an anonymous stranger for $1/hr. And they will totally not eat your food after the kids go to sleep.)
  2. McDonald's "crew" and frygirl. The job lasted only three months, but the greaseburns are forever.
  3. Shitty neighbourhood video store. You haven't lived till you've been held up for 70s Betamax porn.
  4. Receptionist and DIY librarian for LEAF's national office (no joke--best job I ever had in my life)
  5. Hostess, book-keeper, and pastry-chef wrangler at a seafood restaurant in Queen's Quay. Emphasis on Queen's; this was Kitty's initiation into fag-hagdom. Kitty also learned to cuss and smoke here, much to the delight of Mama & Papa Kitty.
  6. BSc student & p/t bank-teller (sorry: 'Customer Service Officer, level 1' *snerk*)
  7. Calculus (and sometimes Chemistry) tutor.
  8. Computer help-desk 'consultant,' U of Moo. "How can I help you if you won't let go of my throat?"
  9. MSc student and p/t computer/network support (Fear and Loathing in the Forest City)
  10. Research assistant (Forest City)
  11. PhD student (Forest City)
  12. Unemployed (Forest City)
  13. P/t grant proof-reader ("if I see 'transdisciplinary' or 'leading edge' one more time, I'm going to stab myself in the eye with a dull pencil")
  14. Birth of GDKitty (awww! They grow up so fast!)
  15. Asst. on a software project for a kinky dentist ("don't ask why the receptionist is covered in glitter; Kitty's gotta eat.")
  16. Post-doc #1 of ? (fun times in Hammertown)
  17. Unemployed post-doc (desperate in that shithole we call Hammertown)
  18. Post-doc #2 of ? (still living in Hammertown but working in the Windy Apple)
  19. Death of GDKitty? (errmmm...maybe not; let's see if I can nurse this place back to health and still keep my GD job!)

Read on, MacDuff!