Not-so-live blogging the GOP debate, Part I: "Sex, Guns & the Return of Karen Hughes"

Lads & Lassies, there is nothing quite so entertaining as the current crop of Republican Presidential candidates. They say the darndest things. In fact, if I had better faith in the integrity of the US democratic machinery (small-d), I could put these debates in the same guilty-pleasure category as the whole Jackass 'oeuvre.' (Yes, I will own that: I have the sense of humour of a 10 year old boy)

While I couldn't resist indulging in the odd *snerk* or *snap!*, some of their quotes sit completely unadorned by moi, as words literally failed me. It's hard to accept that they are uttering these breathtaking comments as they worm their way towards the 2008 GOP nomination. Sadly, one of these men could become the 44th preznit of the Excited States. Chew on that while you're reading this not-so-live blogging. If you're like me, you may find yourself rocking in the fetal position by the 5-min mark (pun intended, wanted and nurtured to full-term).

Due to its length, I've elected to divide the post into several parts (I will add links as soon as each 'goes live'):

1. Sex, Guns & the Return of Karen Hughes.
2. Iraq: Stay, Go, or Arm-paramilitary-death-squad(s)?
3. Well, at least you have yer health. Wait...no. You can has bucket. Kthxbai.
4. I can't believe it's not democracy! Furrin Polsy and the War on Brains.
5. Gas, grass or ass: Nobody rides for free.
6. Hold me closer, tiny dancer: the role of the Vice-President.
7. Tales from the crypt: the attack of the zombie tax policies.
8. I know what you did last summer.
9. Kids, bombs, and a backpack full o' democracy.

A little setup: this particular debate was hosted by Drake University (Des Moines, Iowa), and moderated (just barely) by ABC's George Stephanopoulos. I transcribed what I could, but you can watch the whole Konservative Krying Game for yourself at the ABCnews.com site. Aside from Stephanopoulos, the cast of characters included: Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kan; former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson; Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz.; former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani; former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney; former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee; Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas; and Rep Tom Tancredo, R-Colo.
(Missing and presumed sleepy: former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn)

Sex, Guns & the Return of Karen Hughes

BROWNBACK: (asked about his Iowa campaign's "robo calls" about Mitt Romney, stating that Romney does not have a 'pro-life' record, e.g. 1994 debate with Ted Kennedy, and Ann Romney's contributions to Planned Parenthood) Response: stands by his ads, "It's a truthful ad…I'm pro-life and I'm whole-life" (Don't we know it, Senator! Here's Brownback in an earlier debate, indicating where he feels women's 'whole-life:'

Note: we are considering having him fitted for one of these.)

ROMNEY: Says that the Brownback ads are "desperate," and contends that he is "pro-life." "Massachusetts citizens for life" gave him an award for his service. Romney also insisted that he "opposes tax payer funding of abortions."
BROWNBACK: encourages audience to watch Romney's 1994 debate performance on YouTube.
ROMNEY: Contends that he "never said I was pro-choice…I changed my position," and insists that he explained this change of heart in a Boston Globe piece.
ROMNEY: (Stephanopoulos plays a clip of a Christian Broadcasting Network interview with Romney, in which the Fmr. Governor suggests that Giuliani's stances on abortion, gun control and gay rights are not going to help Rudy win the Republican nomination. Romney is asked if he still feels this way) Response: that interview was "very early in the process" Stephanopoulos: "that was in March" (Snap!)
GIULIANI: insists that he "supports the 2nd amendment," believes "that marriage is between a man and a woman" (though he adds that he supports domestic partnerships), and promises to put "an emphasis on decreasing abortions and increasing adoptions…but ultimately, a woman should make that [decision]"
T. THOMPSON: (confronted with an earlier quote, wherein Thompson suggested that the Giuliani platform is in opposition to the Roman Catholic church and that a pro-choice candidate won't make it in the Republican party) Response: doesn't disavow earlier statement but adds: "this debate should be about major issues," citing health care as an example.
MCCAIN: (asked whether "Giuliani's pro-choice position [will] help him in a general election") Response: "The respect and commitment to the rights of the unborn is something I've fought for and it has a lot to do with national security because it says very much what kind of country we are and our respect for human life, whether it be here in the United States, whether it be in China, or Bangladesh, or the Congo, or anyplace else in the world, so I think it is connected [to national security]."
If you thought this was a new (not to mention an exceptionally loathsome) talking point, allow me to re-introduce you to Karen Hughes: here is Dubya's ex-advisor on April 27, 2004:

I think after September 11th the American people are valuing life more and realizing that we need policies to value the dignity and worth of every life. And President Bush has worked to say, let's be reasonable, let's work to value life, let's try to reduce the number of abortions, let's increase adoptions. And I think those are the kind of policies that the American people can support, particularly at a time when we're facing an enemy, and really the fundamental difference between us and the terror network we fight is that we value every life.

Part 2 is on the way..."Iraq: Stay, Go, or Arm-paramilitary-death-squad(s)?"